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Archive for the ‘Nader’ Category

"I just want to look pretty for you."

Sick of being overshadowed by silly infighting between the two major parties, independent and oft forgotten presidential candidate Ralph Nader told the press that “I’ll put lipstick on if that’s what it will take to spark some real debate in this country about the state of health care.”

“I’ll wear six inch heels if that’ll put some attention back on the war in Iraq,” he continued.  “Hell, I’ll have sex with a man if it’ll help right the upended American economy.”

Nader then assumed his best fighting stance and proclaimed, “Who wants to see me fuck a dude?”

In recent weeks, the outsider candidate has become more and more disillusioned with the media, and he let those feelings show during today’s interview.  “Lipstick on a pig?!” he questioned.  “Are you serious?!  I flat out called Palin a cock-sucking whore and I didn’t even make the local paper!  Not even the local paper!  Jesus Christ!  I seriously need some attension over here!!”

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